Amy Schumer In Talks To Star In “Barbie Gains Her Freshman 15”

THR – Amy Schumer will star in Sony’s live-action Barbie movie.  

Who’s playing Ken?  Seth Rogan?

One of these things is not like the other.

Listen, am I trying to “body shame” Amy Schumer and anyone (male/female) like her?  No.  In fact, I’m overweight by definition.  Do I think it would be a positive message to young adult males if I played Ken?  HAHA.  HA. No.

Amy Schumer isn’t fat, but she isn’t Barbie.

There are now a billion different Barbies.  Black Barbie.  Hispanic Barbie.  Asian Barbie. Etc. etc. etc.  Those make sense. Hey Hitler, I think we can make a doll that isn’t a 10 with blonde hair and blue eyes.  Those were some much needed additions to the line. But “Normal” Barbie?

Image result for normal barbie

Barbie is an ideal.  It may be a dated and old fashion ideal but she is a big-boobed smoke show with an unreasonably small waist.  Either find someone that looks like that to play the roll or don’t make the movie.  I guess we could just change the name of the movie and leave the cast in place.  Here are a few ideas:

“Barbie After Her Third Divorce”

“Barbie’s Disappointing Sister”

“Barbie Moves To The Big City, Binge Drinks And Hooks Up With Guys While Hiding Her Depression Through Attempted Humor”

Guys, back me up here.  When you found your sister’s Barbie, what did you do?  Took her clothes off to see what she was working with underneath, right?  I just remember it feeling smoother than this.

Image result for amy schumer naked

In reality, girls love Amy Schumer.  This movie is targeted to women.  What could possibly go wrong?  I mean, the Ghostbusters all female reboot was a smash hit.

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