Texas Should Hire Matthew McConaughey As Their Next Head Football Coach

No, seriously.

What is a head coach at a major college football institution anyway?  The face of the program.  The master motivator.  The CEO.  You need to handle the media.  Fire up the boosters to open their fat oil money wallets.  Stop me if McConaughey doesn’t nail each of those categories. It’s not all X’s and O’s.   Just get the Jimmy’s and Joe’s and hire bomb ass assistant coaches to run the football piece.  Ole Matty can handle everything else.

Google Matthew McConaughey Texas Football and check out the results.  Its a treasure trove of absolute dynamite pump up speeches.  His latest bit of brilliance came a couple nights ago as a self described “creeper” stalks him outside a convenience store.   McConaughey masterfully delivers the eulogy of the millennium and stone cold killer pump up speech in a 30 second clip.

“Whoop TCU’s assssss…..Friday.”  Electric factory all over the place.  How about this one?

or this one?

Plus, you think Texas sells a lot of merchandise now?  Wait until you have ever Southern Belle creaming their undies for the new Head Ball coach of the Longhorns.  All of a sudden the wives and daughters are into Saturdays in Austin.

So there you have it.  Master motivator.  Handsome devil.  Face of the program.  Media darling. New Ball Coach.  Your 2016 Texas Longhorns led by Matthew McCongaughey sponsored by Lincoln and the new MKC.


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