First things first, go ahead and take my man card.
To be clear, your boy Duke is not good with cars. Simple as that. I’ll own it. Not one of my strengths. However, about 2 weeks ago I purchased and installed my own battery. (No big deal but kind of a big deal)
Fast forward to yesterday when I go to jump in the Xterrible and boom, car doesn’t start. Not even a click. Not even a slight engine purr. Nada. Like any sane person would do, I call the wife and tell her she needs to come home for lunch to jump my ride. She obliges. Her exact quote was, “well maybe you just installed it wrong.” My wife has so little faith (justifiably) in my ability with cars that she thought I unscrewed 2 battery terminals wrong.
I get the jumper cables hooked up and try to fire her up but still…nothing. I was devastated. We were just about to sell the damn thing OF COURSE something would go wrong.
I spend all night contemplating how much money I’m going to plunge into this thing. I’m researching alternators, starters, life insurance in case the wife offs me in my sleep because of the repair bill…everything. Cars are expensive to own and very expensive to repair.
I call AAA today thinking, let’s get this thing towed and assess the damage. First of all, the guy shows up in a van. How in the fuck is he going to tow my broken down truck with a van? He asks, “what’s wrong with the car?” I said “it wouldn’t start. It won’t even click dude and you’re the idiot that didn’t even bring a tow truck.”
I already had the hood popped ready for inspection. Let’s get this done with soon cause I got some drinking to do today, buddy. Before he even gets to the hood he looks inside the car and turns to me with a stare like he just found out I banged his gf. PISSED off. He asks, “why is your car in drive?”
And there you have it. Car fixed by PLACING IT IN PARK. Thanks AAA
PS – Are you supposed to tip those guys?
PPS – The guy was super nice and we did have a laugh about it. He goes, “maybe don’t tell the wife about this one.”